太宰 治 » dazai osamu. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
humandispel) wrote2024-10-18 12:58 pm
humandispel) wrote2024-10-18 12:58 pm
expiation inbox.
[TEXT] [AUDIO] [VIDEO] [ACTION]
[TEXT] [AUDIO] [VIDEO] [ACTION]
Atsushi-kun. I expected this.
Alright, go ahead - go ask your question.
Alright, go ahead - go ask your question.
[ He's relieved he chose to ask this over text, otherwise he would be too anxious to ask this directly. ]
Are you really the Boss? Or are you actually Osamu Dazai of the Armed Detective Agency?
Are you really the Boss? Or are you actually Osamu Dazai of the Armed Detective Agency?
[There's a loud sigh on his side of the phone.]
It was Chuuya, wasn't it? Stupid, meddling hat rack.
It was Chuuya, wasn't it? Stupid, meddling hat rack.
Yes, it was partially because of him, but I came to my own conclusions from a lot of factors. You might be Dazai-san, but you're also not him.
... Dazai-san is my savior, but... kindness can't survive in the Port Mafia.
... Dazai-san is my savior, but... kindness can't survive in the Port Mafia.
[He wants to counter that. Kindness can exist in the Port Mafia - it's just something that is rarely found. It's just something that doesn't belong to the Demon Prodigy.]
Well, if you mostly figured it out yourself, then it's not a big issue. Well done, Atsushi-kun. I used to be in the Port Mafia, but I defected. The Atsushi-kun I knew I only met when I was already in the Armed Detective Agency.
Is there anything else you wish to know?
Well, if you mostly figured it out yourself, then it's not a big issue. Well done, Atsushi-kun. I used to be in the Port Mafia, but I defected. The Atsushi-kun I knew I only met when I was already in the Armed Detective Agency.
Is there anything else you wish to know?
[ Defected... he wondered what was the reason that compelled Dazai to leave the mafia. But there exists another Atsushi unknown to him. He wonders if that version of himself wasn't a coward. ]
Then Akutagawa is part of the Port Mafia there...? Did he still want to kill you?
Then Akutagawa is part of the Port Mafia there...? Did he still want to kill you?
[His Akutagawa, killing him? He feels like that Akutagawa would kill Atsushi at the thought of it. Then again, Akutagawa doesn't need many reasons for him to want to kill Atsushi.]
You could say our relationship is far more complicated than you think. I was his mentor, after all.
You could say our relationship is far more complicated than you think. I was his mentor, after all.
[ Complicated... So this wasn't a 1:1 reversal. Strange. ]
So you mentored Akutagawa before you left the Port Mafia. Was there a reason why you left?
So you mentored Akutagawa before you left the Port Mafia. Was there a reason why you left?
There is.
[Of course there is. That reason burns within him like a lit candle in the middle of a blizzard.
'Be on the side that saves people.']
Someone told me to. So I did.
[Of course there is. That reason burns within him like a lit candle in the middle of a blizzard.
'Be on the side that saves people.']
Someone told me to. So I did.
[ Why couldn't someone tell him that? ]
Is that why you've been trying to steer me by acting as the Dazai-san I know?
Is that why you've been trying to steer me by acting as the Dazai-san I know?
More or less. I figured telling you the truth would be too much of a shock, especially if you don't find it out by yourself. You didn't seem to know what to do, so I gave you something familiar to grasp.
As for where I wanted to steer you - I simply gave you the opportunity to be someone different than who you are. Truth be told, I don't agree that the Port Mafia is the best place for you.
[The other Dazai must have had his reasons. But those reasons do not exist in Aldrip.]
As for where I wanted to steer you - I simply gave you the opportunity to be someone different than who you are. Truth be told, I don't agree that the Port Mafia is the best place for you.
[The other Dazai must have had his reasons. But those reasons do not exist in Aldrip.]
[A part of him knows this and that part of him rages and seethes at the idea of using others to better his own desires. It's selfish, most of all undeserved because everyone deserves the power to choose for themselves.]
When that brat comes to you, stop lying to him. Most of all stop tryin' to pull strings to influence his choices.
It's bad enough to know there's another you out there. [He grits his teeth, that dark gaze flashing with torment. A memory of the "original" Chuuya and the shit Verlaine pulled serves as kindling to this fire.] Now they gotta deal with your shit too? I don't think so.
Let 'em figure it out. I don't care if you don't like where he ends upー he's his own person. Whether you see it that way or not.
When that brat comes to you, stop lying to him. Most of all stop tryin' to pull strings to influence his choices.
It's bad enough to know there's another you out there. [He grits his teeth, that dark gaze flashing with torment. A memory of the "original" Chuuya and the shit Verlaine pulled serves as kindling to this fire.] Now they gotta deal with your shit too? I don't think so.
Let 'em figure it out. I don't care if you don't like where he ends upー he's his own person. Whether you see it that way or not.
I'm truly grateful for that. I really am. But I don't know where my place can be other than the Port Mafia.
I've come to understand now I can't always escape death, that my sins will always haunt me wherever I go. I can't become the other me that you know, Dazai-san.
I've come to understand now I can't always escape death, that my sins will always haunt me wherever I go. I can't become the other me that you know, Dazai-san.
I won't force you to choose a path, Atsushi-kun. If you so wish, you may remain in the Port Mafia, and I will continue to give you the comfort of having orders given to you as a stand-in for your 'boss'.
But I want to ask - is this what you truly wish for? Or is it because you think this is the only path available for you? The Kyouka-chan from my world - she also used to be in the Port Mafia. But she managed to find her place in the Armed Detective Agency out of her free will.
Do not let your sins constrain you.
But I want to ask - is this what you truly wish for? Or is it because you think this is the only path available for you? The Kyouka-chan from my world - she also used to be in the Port Mafia. But she managed to find her place in the Armed Detective Agency out of her free will.
Do not let your sins constrain you.
Mm. Maybe I won't.
[He never had any plans to lie when the truth comes out, anyway. As long as Atsushi manages to figure it out himself.
Chuuya, however. Something malicious forms at the tip of his tongue. He really doesn't need to, but he's already pissed off at the other intruding into his business like this. Because this is just how they function, don't they? One can never get rid of the other.]
I think you're projecting too hard over here, Chuuya. What, are you jealous because your own mentor never gave you a choice?
[Cruel, cruel. Dazai might have turned traitor, exchanged his coat for a lighter one, but he has never really changed.]
Or are you afraid I would make him cut ties with everything else, much like what he did for you?
[He never had any plans to lie when the truth comes out, anyway. As long as Atsushi manages to figure it out himself.
Chuuya, however. Something malicious forms at the tip of his tongue. He really doesn't need to, but he's already pissed off at the other intruding into his business like this. Because this is just how they function, don't they? One can never get rid of the other.]
I think you're projecting too hard over here, Chuuya. What, are you jealous because your own mentor never gave you a choice?
[Cruel, cruel. Dazai might have turned traitor, exchanged his coat for a lighter one, but he has never really changed.]
Or are you afraid I would make him cut ties with everything else, much like what he did for you?
"Projecting"? [His tone drops into something low, a harsh, throaty chuckle that lusts for violence following.] Jealous? That's rich comin' from you!!
[His lips pull up into something wild and his eyes flash with a lust for violence. Dazai knows the right buttons to push. He doesn't care in the moments that follow. The rest is instinctive. He acts. Dazai's in the middle of not shutting the fuck up, and Chuuya's already throwing his head forward to slam right into his face.]
[His lips pull up into something wild and his eyes flash with a lust for violence. Dazai knows the right buttons to push. He doesn't care in the moments that follow. The rest is instinctive. He acts. Dazai's in the middle of not shutting the fuck up, and Chuuya's already throwing his head forward to slam right into his face.]
[Oh, this is easier to deal with. More familiar. Exactly what a certain someone needs, not these prying questions that stick too close to his soul. The impact comes quick and painful, but Dazai continues to laugh regardless. He knows he has won.]
[Dazai isn't the only one laughing. It lacks mirth and joy. Instead, it fringes upon madness and frustration. Dazai wants him to be a monster. It's easy and violentー everything a certain bastard projects that he needs. But they know that's not true. If it were, why are Chuuya's hands back in his pockets?
There's only a sweeping kick into Dazai's side that follows. A choice. His choice!]
There's only a sweeping kick into Dazai's side that follows. A choice. His choice!]
[He takes it in full - maybe because he deserves it, maybe because he doesn't feel like dodging. Either way, this is Chuuya, and he's used to parrying his blows. Even if the impact does make him cough: he is the strongest martial artist of the Port Mafia, after all.]
Yeah, that's right. [He's still laughing, inky and murky and everything inhuman about him.] You've always been like this.
[He doesn't specify if Chuuya is a monster or a human.]
Yeah, that's right. [He's still laughing, inky and murky and everything inhuman about him.] You've always been like this.
[He doesn't specify if Chuuya is a monster or a human.]
I'm not sure what I wish for anymore. But I know regardless... if I ever come back to the place I come from, I will always follow Dazai-san... my boss's orders.
Whatever intentions he has for me, I don't care. He was the one who saved me and gave me, a stray, a place to belong. Leaving the Port Mafia is out of the question for me.
But for the time being that I'm here... there is no such division as 'Port Mafia' or 'Armed Detective Agency'.
I will look for my own path, Dazai-san.
Whatever intentions he has for me, I don't care. He was the one who saved me and gave me, a stray, a place to belong. Leaving the Port Mafia is out of the question for me.
But for the time being that I'm here... there is no such division as 'Port Mafia' or 'Armed Detective Agency'.
I will look for my own path, Dazai-san.
[So that's it, then.]
I won't stop you. That's the kind of determination I wanted to see from you in the first place.
Still, if you find yourself astray, or in need of guidance, I will fulfill my role as your senpai - or your boss, in his place. Being a different Atsushi from the one that I know of doesn't mean I would leave you alone, you know.
I won't stop you. That's the kind of determination I wanted to see from you in the first place.
Still, if you find yourself astray, or in need of guidance, I will fulfill my role as your senpai - or your boss, in his place. Being a different Atsushi from the one that I know of doesn't mean I would leave you alone, you know.
[ Was this validation he was seeking? Or some sort of solace? Either way, Atsushi can feel his heart lighten a bit. The future is uncertain for him, but he is for sure certain that the Dazai-san he knows and this Dazai-san wants him to be able to move on his own two feet. ]
...Thank you, Dazai-san.
...Thank you, Dazai-san.
So have you!
[The grin he grants in response is wild. Natural for such a violent being. Dazai may cough, but he knows his kick is parried the moment it lands. The thrill from it carrie's into his eyes because there's nothing quite like fighting someone who can handle all that he is at his core. And with it a conveyance of trust in knowing his piece of shit of a partner in this dance of violence.
He's in step with him, knows the kick that sweeps out next might not knock Dazai's legs out from underneath him. What's left is to simply slam into him. Pin him down. There's all the frustration and passion to come with it. If Dazai wants it this wayー fine. They'll make an exchange in violence. The first strike is for that shitty tiger. This one is for coattails. The one actively struggling in the light just as much as you, Dazai.]
[The grin he grants in response is wild. Natural for such a violent being. Dazai may cough, but he knows his kick is parried the moment it lands. The thrill from it carrie's into his eyes because there's nothing quite like fighting someone who can handle all that he is at his core. And with it a conveyance of trust in knowing his piece of shit of a partner in this dance of violence.
He's in step with him, knows the kick that sweeps out next might not knock Dazai's legs out from underneath him. What's left is to simply slam into him. Pin him down. There's all the frustration and passion to come with it. If Dazai wants it this wayー fine. They'll make an exchange in violence. The first strike is for that shitty tiger. This one is for coattails. The one actively struggling in the light just as much as you, Dazai.]
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